I never learn ...

Despite the fact that, through 2009, I'll be paying $35/month to TxDOT because LAST summer, while I was trekking back and forth between civilization (Austin) [although sometimes I wonder ...] and the [Rio Grande] Valley of the Shadow of Death on a weekendly basis, I got TWO traffic tickets -- one for an unregistered car [which I knew about] and one for not having proper insurance documentation [which I also knew about, but thought I could get taken off because I had the new documents at home ... and then it turned out my car insurance had been cancelled ...] ... Well, for having committed these two HEINOUS offenses, the State of Texas, in its infinite wisdom, is charging me a "Conviction Surcharge," as it does ANY convicted felon (that is, anyone convicted of DWI, no insurance -- well, those of us ANGLOS it can CATCH [oops, did I say that?!] -- and a couple of other hideous crimes against the state), to the tune of $35/month. (I said that, didn't I. What, me bitter?! Nahhhhh ...) So on top of $500 in fines, I'll pay another almost-$700 for my offenses.

Meanwhile, there are animals being abused by athletes ["allegedly"], women being raped and killed by the men they love, children being abused by their spiritual advisers ... But by GOD, the State of Texas is gonna get its pound of flesh from ME!!

I got off track there somewhere ... Oh, yeah. Despite paying all that money, you'd THINK I'd be johnny-on-the-spot to get my car registered and inspected EVERY YEAR WHEN IT'S DUE, wouldn't you? But nooooooo ... I still haven't learned my lesson. During the "5-minute huddle" this morning, SMOR [our pet cop] looked out the window and said,"Whose silver car is that?" [Well, to begin with, I don't know how he could tell what color it is, since it hasn't been washed in about 4 months -- not since it got its detailing after its wreck. (NOT caused by me but by some bimbette who decided she liked my lane better than her own and moved into mine without looking ...)] ANYway, SMOR decided that he'd start ragging me about my registration [it's only 2 months overdue, folks! Not like I'm riding around a YEAR late or something ... like last time ...] and my inspection [OK, now THAT one WAS due in Aug. of '05. I am slacking a bit there] until I got on the ball. And when SMOR rags, he RAGS. He's a pain in the back end at the best of times.

So I went first to get a replacement insurance card [of course my latest one is missing -- which NEVER happens, but I have an even worse mailman here than I did in the VotSoD*], which meant sitting in the icky insurance company office with a couple of screaming children and their oblivious mothers and grandmothers, the only non-Spanish speaker in the room, waiting and waiting and waiting while the business ahead of me got taken care of ever-so-slowly. FINALLY got my replacement card, went to the local grocery store -- where the Customer Service desk had already told me they sold car tags -- and the lady at the desk said, "Oh, we don't sell really OLD tags... if they're THAT old, you have to go to the Tax Office!"

Well, HELL.

And it's 96 degrees outside, of course ... and my lunch hour is almost over. So the hunt starts up again tomorrow.

I love my life ...

*Valley of the Shadow of Death